


It's Not His Nose?

by meridian_rose (meridianrose)



Category: The Orville (TV)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, community: mmom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-21 15:38:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18705262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meridianrose/pseuds/meridian_rose
Summary: More interspecies miscommunication cause problems for Gordon in particular, and Ed and Kelly as his commanding officers.





	It's Not His Nose?

"I had no idea!" Gordon spread his hands. "How could I?"

Ed nodded sympathetically. "I get it, I do."

"He was in the corner of the room! In public!"

"Apparently being fully alone makes the act more difficult for his species. Something about pheromones. Don't worry, Kelly and I are having words with the lieutenant too."

Gordon folded his arms. "Good. Because he shouldn't have been doing that in public and then complain about me staring at him."

"Actually," Kelly said, "he complained because he says you insulted him."

"What?"

Ed cleared his throat. "You, er, said, are you going to blow your nose all night or are you joining us for drinks."

"And?" Gordon clenched and unclenched his fists in frustration. "I thought it was his nose!"

Kelly stepped in. "It seems that showing one's nose, and worse to blow it in public, is highly offensive in his species. His nose is actually hidden beneath his uniform."

Gordon blinked a few times. "Wait. Wait. Exposing your nose is bad but exposing and even stroking your genitalia in public is fine? If I had done what he was doing I'd be reprimanded!"

He had a point. Everyone present knew he'd been reprimanded for drawing a penis on an outpost's viewscreen.

"As I said, we're going to discuss this with the lieutenant. These kind of misunderstandings happen in multi-species interactions," Ed said. "We just need to make everyone involved aware of what happened and why it shouldn't happen again. You're not in trouble."

"I should hope not," Gordon said, relaxing.

When Gordon had been dismissed, Ed turned to Kelly.

"I know I've said this before but why can't we have a normal ship? Instead of the stabbings and now the exposed genitals?"

Kelly gave him an encouraging. smile. "The lieutenant is only here for two more days until the sensor array upgrade has been fully tested. Chin up. Oh, and don't mention chins when we talk to him. That's a major no-no."

Ed sighed. He was going to have words with the lieutenant and then a few drinks, _stiff_ drinks, and to hell with the innuendo.


End file.
